From My Utmost for His Highest
. . . the friend of the bridegroom . . . —John 3

I haven’t told many people this, but I’ve been wracked lately because I’ve been dry.

For most of the last four years, I have had a physical and palpable feeling of the presence of God in my life. I saw His hand at work in the world and I felt His presence all around me.

But then, for the last three months, I’ve been in a dry season—not completely dry, but dry. I’m not talking about salvation. I know that my name is in the Lamb’s Book of Life. But having tasted the cool water of the stream, I thirsted for it again.

At first, I wasn’t worried, but something about the last couple of weeks…

My greatest fear is that I go back to the guy I was before Jesus was real to me. That guy could handle things—work harder, manage people, keep up the façade of a good guy, lie a little. That guy got by.

But me, now? Having given up all I did, without God I can’t get by. I’m lost.

So I began to look back. Was there something in my life that had separated me? Now, I’m not near perfect. Not even close, but there wasn’t one thing that the Spirit was pressing on me. In fact, that was the problem.

The Spirit wasn’t anywhere. As Chambers said, “Sometimes there is nothing to obey…”

I think that part of it was the promotion for this book. I’ve worked hard sharing its message, but a combination of loneliness in this ministry and a focus on the work at hand over the Creator contributed to my state.

Oswald said, “Christian work can actually be a means of diverting a person’s focus away from Jesus Christ.” I mentioned a few weeks back in the post “Is This True of Me,” but God doesn’t want my work, He wants me. [TWEET]. I got so busy doing the work that I missed breakfast, lunch and dinner with the Father. I’d skip quiet time, reading and prayer.

As I returned my focus to God through study, I noticed three things:

1. Ananias healed Paul’s sight. He may have done a thousand other things or fathered a nation, but as far as Scripture goes, he was raised up for that one thing.
2. Paul, in 2 Timothy 4 writes his last words to the world. This was a man whose letters define Scripture, and yet, in the last words of his last letter, he settled accounts. It was in love, but he reminded us that his service was often alone. Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Noah, Moses … Jesus and Paul were all on the field for God and all served (largely) alone.
3. Only just after Pentecost do we get a picture of individuals in the church working together, well, with a Spirit of sharing the work amongst all.

If this subject interests you, I spoke on it in greater detail to a class last Sunday. Click here to hear the 45 minute lesson—it’ll stream from a mobile device or cell phone. I also drew strength from a 2002 Tim Keller sermon titled Finding God. [SHARE BOTH VIA TWITTER]

I want you to know that there is a way back. In fact, in the midst of dryness, I know there's water all around me. [TWEET] Those that love greatly and properly end up far out in front, and that’s ok. We serve a God that crossed the universe, paid dearly, and died to love us.

But to experience that fully, for me, it requires a response—an investment. God did not even withhold His Temple. In the end, even the altar went on the altar. [TWEET]

I love you.

#questionsfromthefront