Will You Go Out Without Knowing?

   From My Utmost for His Highest

So I'm sitting in Herod's Temple, just taking a minute and minding my own business when Jesus walks up. This happened to me. Today.

And truth be told, although I never expected it, it happened exactly like I would have imagined it.  I wasn't having a bad day, but I wasn't feeling particularly holy, either.  I was worried how I was going to keep a 2 year old going through a nap and a nine year old engaged.  If I wasn't checking emails, I was probably thinking about the emails I should be checking.

And then, all at once, from the corner, Jesus walks directly toward me.  

Now the rush of Christmas and being on the road and aggressively attempted relaxation have all conspired to restrict the disciplines that help keep me straight - Scripture, prayer, listening - but surely I've got enough left in the tank to TALK TO JESUS, don't I?

Well...

No.  Not really.  It was strange because I wasn't really in Herod's Temple.  I was in a fairly realistic gold leaf replica of it at the Holy Land Experience in Orlando. And it wasn't really Jesus.  It was a pretty good character actor Jesus. He's done this before and he was headed to a show or something when he locked onto my eyes.  

Again, this wasn't really Jesus-it was a dude like you and me, but something about the whole thing experience froze me.  I was tongue tied.  I had nothing to say.  Jesus stopped, blessed the kids and when on his way.  Like thousands of others in the Bible, I looked into (except in my case, fake) Jesus' eyes, saw love and then was back in my world.  Emails, kids and a schedule of shows to hit before naptime.  

Now I wasn't there because I was Abraham faithful.  I just wanted to see it and thought my kids might like it.  But at times that I've been on the spectrum closer to Abraham, called/asked/allowed to go out on faith, there is a real freedom in not having to do accomplish anything - in just knowing that God is doing.

I haven't been good at that lately.  This book is hard and I've caught myself imagining how God will work and where God will send me out because of it. One thing I do know, if I can imagine it, that's not how God's going to accomplish it. But I've been trying too hard, lately. Trying to muscle it, trying to make it, trying to push others, too. I've worried a little bit, too.

And then, in the midst of all this, Jesus shows up. The (albeit fake) one I've set my heart upon, and I have nothing to say.  

It's another beautiful reminder that God doesn't look to us to make, do or accomplish.  God looks to us to show up, love back and prepare. Because we share something with those who touched His cloak, caught His gaze or laid a palm branch at His feet.  In the very next moment, we had the choice to go out or go back in. #thegreatcefuldance

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